October 2016 House Show

House Show – Southside Hall

October 2, 2016

KCWF held its first house show in Southside Hall on Sunday, October 2.  The night was to feature 5 undercard bouts and be headlined by a special attraction match between two of the LFF’s most popular combatants, El Super Hombre and Snake Pit!

The night’s first match pit KCWF newcomer Gregor the Magnificent and KCWF tournament runner-up The Right.  Gregor was the first to enter the ring followed by The Right.  The match began with a flurry of strikes from The Right.  The early part of the bout was dominated by KCWF vet.  He hit his finishing strike, Piercer, which was shrugged off by the Magnificent one with a kick out before the referee even counted one.  This was followed by The Right attempting to hoist Gregor up for The Wrack but he was unable to.  Finally, he hit his opponent with The Crucifix.  Still Gregor kicked out just before the three count could come down.  The frustration was all over The Right’s face.  He blindly walked right into the Gallows and was finished by Gregor.

After the match the two competitors walked to the back.  Screaming, yelling, and the crack of a whip were heard coming from the locker room.  This intrepid reporter went back to find The Right whipping himself miraculously.  He saw me, I ran out as fast as I could.

The next match was supposed to be a women’s match between Llama Natsu and La Muñeca.  As the wrestlers came down to the ring they were interrupted by Moonshine with a mic from the entrance ramp.

“This match was supposed to find the next challenger for the KCWF Women’s Championship.”  The crowd on hand went wild for the declaration.  “…but that’s not gonna happen.  You see I won this belt by destroying my competition at Genesis.  You both had your shot.  But I didn’t get mine!  They gave the “top tile” to that bag-man, whatever his name is.  I deserve that title!  No one in this federation has the ability to beat me!  So, I couldn’t care less if you wastes-of-space have a match or not.  You just won’t be facing me for my title.  Tonight, I’ll be wrestling that bag of a wrestler the KCWF calls there champion!”

With that Moonshine threw down the mic and the gauntlet.  Natsu and Muñeca shrugged to each other and headed to the back.

The Next match featured Korr the Konqueror vs Jorge “JFK” Kennady.  The Politian took the initiative of trying to look-up with the man mountain.  Korr was having none of it as he threw “JFK” to the floor.  Jorge jump quickly to his feet brushing himself of trying to pretend he hadn’t just tasted the canvas.  The two traded blows and holds for a time until the Konqueror had enough of Kennady.  He hit his competitor with his patented Decap Attack and that was all she wrote.

Before the fourth match could begin we heard from ??? about Moonshine’s comments.  Well, we didn’t hear from him exactly, he just stood there… with a bag on his head.  “Well… Moonshine?” the interviewer said.  ??? faced the crowd as if to get their feeling.  They roared in approval and the Mystery man ended the interview with an emphatic hand raise, as if to say “they want it, they get it”.

The next match was supposed to be for the new number one contender for the title held by ???.  Dr. Skullface was taking on Draco.  The two squared off I guess to see who would take on the winner of ??? and Moonshine.  What a match they had!  The two men laid it all on the line.  The Doctor was trying every trick in the book.  Draco was flying all around the ring.  Skullface threw out the Trocar Trap.  Kick out.  Draco tried the Leatherback-Out.  Kick out.  Skullface tried to perform Exploratory Surgery.  Draco tried the Snap Jaw Squeeze.  Finally, Dr. Skullface had Draco all lined up for the Amputap-out but Draco countered flawlessly to the Scale Slam.  1, 2, 3!

Prince McSham took the microphone to a chorus of boos.

“I’m here to announce a change to tonight’s main event.  Super El Hombre and Snake Pit have both said they refuse to wrestle for an organization that would allow a female wrestler to challenge for the title.  I assured them the match between ??? and Moonshine would not be happening tonight or ever.  (Boos!)  They still said they wouldn’t perform for such a crowd as this.  To that I said, “ well, don’t let the door hit ya!”  Now the KCWF presents to you, for the first time ever, the unification of our top belts into the Kalamazoo Card Wrestling Federation World Championship!”

The crowd went absolutely wild.  The stage is set for our two belts, our two champions to fight to become the KCWF World Champion!!!

Standing in the center of the ring the mysterious ??? was motionless, head cocked, staring at the eterance ramp as Moonshine charged and dived into the ring.  Before the bell could even ring the match began!  Moonshine jumped up and unleashed a savage forearm strike to her opponent’s head, followed by a crushing kick to the mid-section.  Nearly collapsing, ??? managed to stand to his feet only to be thrown upside down and into the punishing Moonshiner!  A pin!  But a quick kick out from the heroic bagman who rolled away from the hulking bootlegger. 

“Looks like you outta be in the damn Women’s Division with moves like those!!” taunted Moonshine. 

With a questioning look ??? charged forward and locked up with her only to be quickly humiliated by Moonshine’s reversal into the crushing strike of Hit the Handle.  Nearly unconscious, ??? lay flat on his back for 1… 2… before weakly lifting his shoulder off the mat. 

“Stay down would ya!  I got some drinkin’ to do!!” Moonshine hollered while delivering a brutal kick to the bagged head of ???.

Rolling out of the ring to escape his opponent, ??? seemed oblivious to his surroundings.  Stumbling to his feet, ??? staggered towards the crowd before collapsing over th barrier and onto the crowd. 

“Hold up!  You already got a taste of my shine?!” roared Moonshine as she looked around frantically for her precious shine bottle and downing nearly half of the potent potion before her.

Meanwhile, the referee began counting.  Fans roared in support, working to stand up, the injured and barely conscious ??? pushed towards the ring.  8…  9…  With one last effort, ??? lunged for the ropes ringside but stumbled and crashed face first into the ring post instead.  10!!  Count out!!  And without even realizing she had just won the match, Moonshine tossed her empty jug straight at the bagged head of ???  Moonshine picked up her second belt and stumbled out of the ring and into the back muttering.

“… gots to find me a real match… none of these city boys got enough to take on me”

The final match had turned KCWF on its head.  Two titles held by one superstar?